Giving Thanks

It is a little trite, perhaps, to put out a list of things I'm thankful for today. I've been thinking about this all week and feel bolstered in the opinion that it is worthwhile item to share after reading the comments of my co-workers left on the Caringbridge site yesterday.

In year's past, if you asked me what I was thankful for on Thanksgiving I can pretty much assure you that the list would be short: family, friends, the chance to relax midweek, and the opportunity to eat comfort food in one large meal to the point of discomfort. But as I wrote yesterday, priorities have shifted and so here's a different list trying to be both inclusive and specific of the things that I am thankful for today:

1. My family: Marla, Nolan, and Audrey for being both pillars of strength for me and an inspiration to endure all that I must.
2. My parents and parents-in-law: For stepping back into those care-giver roles for me and my family that perhaps you thought you had absolved yourselves of some time ago. The amount of time and energy you have spent is not lost on me.
3. Friends who have stepped in to fill the day-to-day voids: Particularly the Baileys, Conways, Reeves who have done little, and not-so-little, things to help Marla and I achieve our goal of 'normalcy' for our daily family life.
4. The gifts we have received: We've received a bounty of meals, thinking-of-you gifts, baskets, cards, bags, and boxes. These range from very practical to whimsical. Each that arrives have been valued for what they do to sustain us in the intended way. Thank you to all that have sent gifts and cards.
5. The support network: If you are reading this post consider yourself thanked. It may have been the singular most helpful and important decision I made in the early days of my treatment to start these regular postings. While I receive numerous thanks for maintaining these blogs, I will continue to point out that these are therapeutic for me. I enjoy the opportunity to share my thoughts with those who care to know them and have come to cherish the journal entries and comments.
6. The above-and-beyond support from Westat: For the past five years I went to work with very talented, caring, and fun people. I had no expectation for the amount of support I would receive from an employer under such circumstances. I have been routinely 'blown away' by the magnitude of Westat's outpouring of concern both Corporately and from the individuals that I have been fortunate enough to work with. Several groups bear mentioning for admitting to, or orchestrating what seems to be, efforts of outreach--SPS, HRS, OMRG--Thank you.
7. The serendipity of my diagnosis: I had occasion as recently as yesterday to revisit why I went to the doctor on September 22nd. I still cannot pinpoint what drove me to the decision to seek medical treatment for a seemingly benign set of symptoms.
8. The medical care I have received throughout: Starting with the doctors at the clinic who first hit me with the "lymphoma" diagnosis, my primary care physician who orchestrated the following week to get me to a diagnosis, the specialists who pointpointed Acute Lymphoblastic Lymphoma and devised my treatment routine--thank you for my quick start toward a cure. I would like to thank, specifically, my dedicated care team at Hopkins: Dr. Roisin Connolly, Dr. Richard Ambinder and Nurse Practitioner Audra (sorry, Audra, I don't think I ever learned your last name) who direct my care and who have allowed me to have a role in the decisions made. You are all very impressive and skilled clinicians who have astounded me routinely with your willingness and ability to answer my questions with patience, tact, and a straight-forwardness that I had thought missing from the world of medicine. Finally, the legion of Hopkins nurses who have tended to me as either an out- or in-patient. I'm beginning to know many of the names and have come to value highly the knowledge you bring to my daily care. Thank you for your efforts on my behalf.
9. The medical advice from friends: My support network includes several individuals who have medical backgrounds or extensive family histories with cancer and other illnesses. At times issues in my treatment (my first blood transfusion, the spinal taps come to mind) have been discussed in these blogs. Your input on what I have written sets me at ease and calms me for those parts of the process that have been unsettling. Thank you for your willingness to consider what I write and for your thoughtful advice, input, and encouragement.
10. For my strength, energy, and attitude: It may be redundant a bit to touch on these as much of the first 9 items create or sustain them. However, it is a daily occurrence for me to wake up feeling that I am still the same person I was before my diagnosis. When I look in the mirror I do not see a weakened cancer patient ravaged by severe medicines that carry their own damaging side-effects. Instead (after I cover my bald head), I see a seemingly healthy vision of myself--same weight, good spirits and with the ability to get up and do things.
11. Positive 'vibes' in a tough situation: This actually has its genesis outside of my cancer and is intended to stop short of a political discussion. The U.S. is facing major challenges. I have had extra time to pay attention and hold no illusions that any administration can or will have all the answers. I am thankful, instead, for the degree of optimism and hope that the incoming administration seems to be maintaining. I see parallels between the struggles being faced by the U.S. and my personal health situation. In both areas hope and optimism can carry us beyond the tough early going.

I believe I have set down much of what has occurred to me in my Thanksgiving-thinking this week. If you read this on Thanksgiving, I hope you have a great holiday and that what I've written has given you the inspiration to look beyond what's set on the table or on the television for what you are thankful for. If you read this after the holiday, know that I thank you all for the opportunity that you have provided for me to reflect upon and appreciate something truly significant on Thanksgiving.