Father's Day

Good Afternoon All:

First things first--I'd like you all to know that I am writing this post from Hopkins, but while getting antibiotics, etc. as an outpatient. It seems that the whining I did and was the subject of my prior post had results. Specifically, I think Marla was worried, asked my primary oncologist to check in on me who then pushed for me to be released. I have since learned that most people who have gotten the chemo regimen I just received are not released to the outpatient clinic at this time point. While I cannot say that any of this are indicative of some result that I had drawn up when I started whining, it certainly is a nice surprise.

I came home this past week on Thursday and am now back in the habit of coming to the outpatient clinic daily. Those first couple of days were very quiet in the house as Nolan and Audrey had been farmed out to my inlaws since school had drawn to a close and camp hadn't started up yet. That meant that Marla and I had some quiet evenings at home together. That was nice.

It was even nicer when the kids finally came home yesterday. They had learned that I was released from the hospital and I got a very nice hug and kiss from both when they arrived home. This morning I was greeted with "Happy Father's Day!" and more hugs and kisses. While I don't think it was anyone's intent, this serendipitous movement from the ranks of the in-patients made it possible for me to be home with the family on Father's Day. It has already meant more than I thought it would and I know that there is more to come when I return home from Hopkins this evening. My being home also means that I will be 'around' for Audrey's upcoming 6th Birthday--talk about exciting!

Nothing is particularly easy about my being home right now. Besides the daily trip to Hopkins, I am still suffering under the effects of the most recent chemo regimen. My taste buds are all fouled up and I generally have no appetite. I actually lost about 20 pounds at one point but am now slowly gaining them back as I find meal options that both appeal to me and hold some benefit in the form of protein. Just this morning, Marla lamented that she had to try and figure out what to make me for my Father's Day dinner. She commented that she would have typically just done steaks and be done with it. I couldn't help her much since I simply can't know from one meal to the next what will taste good or look or sound appealing. I think I'd like to give steak a try, but it also might be a somewhat expensive failed experiment in feeding a cancer patient.

Anyway, things continue to progress. Though it is a bit of a long shot, we are hoping that the chemo is still active in my body and will ultimately wipe out all the cancerous cells. I'm hoping that the continuing difficulties with mouth sores, taste changes, even some renewed hair loss points to such continued activity. The other two items that are important right now is that I remain infection free and that I finally begin to make my own neutrophils.

Thank you for the response to my prior post. It is always helpful to hear just how many individuals are behind me. I'd like to ask you now to spend your energies 'wishing' me neutrophils. Something tells me that I can't help but grow neutrophils with this kind of support behind me.