Update

Good Morning all:

I'm typing this post from Hopkins but as an outpatient. As it turns out the decision was made late on Friday to go ahead and release me from the hospital and move me to outpatient care.

I had a bone marrow biopsy Friday that showed a continued presence of leukemia in my marrow, and having ruled out all other infection sources, the doctors were content to pin the fevers on the disease. So, I had to deal with the bad news that the chemo didn't continue to kick the disease out of my body after the preliminary biopsy showed cancer in the marrow. At the same time I had to stifle my enthusiasm for returning home.

The biopsy is truly bad news. Each failed treatment becomes problematic. The doctors are looking at next options and based on some test results that might not be available until next week a decision along these lines will remain on hold. In the meantime I have challenged the Oncology team to do what, in my opinion, they have neglected to do since I relapsed--buy my body some time to recover its counts. It seems that the cancer is recovering faster than the real me, and ultimately crowds out any opportunity for new, healthy marrow to develop. I intend to be dogged on this point. I think I have hit my mark so far as I got a glimmer of recognition when I mentioned this point to my Outpatient Nurse Practitioner this morning.

On the positive end I am home. I've lost weight, a fair amount of muscle I might guess, but I feel good. Over the weekend I successfully assembled Audrey's new bicycle (Mommy and Daddy's gift for her 6th birthday), watched the kids enjoy bikes and skateboards with the neighborhood kids all while coolly sitting under the shade of a tree with Bella sitting calmly at my side. We even joined some neighbors for dinner last night. And best of all I got to tuck my kids into bed each night and spend some quiet moments with Marla.

Of course, none of this is possible as an inpatient and so I feel glad to have this opportunity even if it comes as a result of some distressing news. As I know more about the next treatment I will update here. Also if inspiration strikes on a more philosophical post you can expect to find it here.

As always, thanks for reading.

--Russ.